mental health, youth group, north dakota, and me

it’s 4:38pm, and i should be in the shower.  in less than three hours, i will stand before a group of 7-12th grade students at our church and talk about mental health, faith, and how the two meet. in my last minute preparations, i ran across a statistic that took my breath away.

not in a good way

according to HOPE for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the leading cause of death for ages 15-24 in north dakota.

what?

here i sit…with that information…breathe, stacy, breathe…

do i tell the kids that?

i think i have to tell them.

the kids who sit in front of me tonight are in that age group. they need to know that they do not have to kill themselves. they need to know that they can take each other seriously. they need to know that it isn’t a game or something that they should do because someone else did it. they need to know that they are important today and will be important tomorrow.

they need to know that there is help.

it seems odd that north dakota would have this issue, right? or maybe not.  people who live in north dakota are strong, hard-working, and private. when we stand behind a mask that we put on to keep that image, we often hurt ourselves. and others.

fear of being found out keeps us from saying anything to anyone. pull yourself up and keep on going. if anyone knew what went on inside my head, what would they think?

and there isn’t exactly a plethora of help here.  the thing is, though, that there is probably more help than people realize.

there are big churches here. there is good medical care here. it’s here – walk through the doors, open your mouths, and say the words that will get you some help.

that sounds hard.

and it is.

it isn’t easy for me hit “publish” on posts that reveal to the world that i struggle with energy shifts that cause mood shifts that keep me from wanting to say “help.” but i do it.

i do not do it so that you can look at me and feel sorry for me. i do it so that you can look inside yourself and say, “i can do it too. i can ask for help.”

i do it so that you can look at the person next to you in church and be ready when they say, “can you pray for me? i’m struggling with some feelings, and they scare me.”

i do it so that we stop whispering and wondering and wasting our lives caring about the wrong things.

mental illness is an illness. we only get better when we do all of the things that an illness requires. sometimes illness requires help, intervention, and care.

and that is what i’m going to the kids tonight.

God cares enough about you for you to get help to take care of you. the scary things inside of your head will be less scary when you ask for help, get help, and look to God for truth.  the point is to understand how to manage your emotions and energies so that you can live.

it doesn’t matter where we live, this is an issue. when we stop making it such a big deal to struggle and instead make it a big deal to manage, care, and assist, we will change the tide.

suicide should not be the leading cause of any age group anywhere.

reach out, hold a hand, and speak truth into each others’ lives.

today.

now.

Psalm 46:1 – God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

ps: if you know someone who took his or her life, it’s not your fault.  don’t beat yourself up about it. God doesn’t want you to hold onto that guilt.

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on a lighter note, the giveaway for “Meditations” the coloring book ends on 2/4 at 11:59pm – be sure to get in on it!

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Suicide: A Preventable Cause of Death

Today is considered suicide awareness day by those who decide those things. In line with that thinking, I have chosen to reblog a post that I published on May 1, 2012.

I would love for us all to become more aware of each other and prevent this cause of death (10th leading cause in America according to the CDC). Suicide is not a disease or a crime, but it takes lives at an alarming rate. Let’s pay attention to each other, read between the lines, and ask clarifying questions so that we can help those who may consider this as an option to escape the emotional pain they experience.

slowingtheracingmind

Yesterday was another day of on the road time for me.  I do love that my job takes me on the road from time to time; however, the past month and the next month seem to be filled with more times on the road than in my own bed.  My office at work sits empty, but my backpack and my travel bag are always full.  And travel time – especially over the past week when I have been without a book on CD – lends itself to thinking time.

Thinking is an excellent activity.  I firmly believe that we should do it and that we should do it often.  Those who do not think tend to become those who do not do.  Thinking – whether analytical or reflective – is motivating, inspiring, and problem-solving.  We can only accomplish those great dreams if we first think them up.

However, thinking too…

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I Get Lost in My Mind…

Yesterday was another day of on the road time for me.  I do love that my job takes me on the road from time to time; however, the past month and the next month seem to be filled with more times on the road than in my own bed.  My office at work sits empty, but my backpack and my travel bag are always full.  And travel time – especially over the past week when I have been without a book on CD – lends itself to thinking time.

Thinking is an excellent activity.  I firmly believe that we should do it and that we should do it often.  Those who do not think tend to become those who do not do.  Thinking – whether analytical or reflective – is motivating, inspiring, and problem-solving.  We can only accomplish those great dreams if we first think them up.

However, thinking too much or too deeply or…too much without a sounding board or looking to some Truth…can lead to thoughts of despair about ourselves, our relationships, or our situations.  Without balancing our own understanding of the world around us with Truth, we lose site of that Truth and start to believe lies about ourselves.

Yesterday marked the 23rd anniversary of a dark day in my life.  On that day, the ninth grader who was me had become lost in her mind, had lost sight of Biblical truth, and had decided to answer despair by attempting to take her own life.  It is the only time that I have acted on thoughts like that although there have been other times when the temptation has been there.  Since being diagnosed with bipolar stuffs two years ago, my psychiatrist and I have talked about the polarizing pull that happens toward life-taking from time to time and how the conditions of being lost in my mind that afternoon twenty-three years ago led me to that place of action (albeit a failing one – Praise be to God!).

Over the past few months, I have been doing a lot of reading about the developmental assets from the Search Institute.  As I look at the list of assets, I realize that I had plenty of them in my toolkit.  In fact, I would have scored so highly on them that I doubt I would currently be screened in to get any kind of help except that I clearly showed signs of needing help (in fact, I was in counseling for a few weeks before I manipulated my way out of that – another story for another day).  My family, school, and community connections were very strong.  And yet – I had biological tendencies that pulled me toward rumination, reflection, and self-incriminating thoughts.  Although I had a strong faith in God, I would often lose sight of that and look inward.

I love a song called “Lost in My Mind” that has been out for a while by a group called The Head and the Heart (what a smart name for a band!).  Whenever I hear this upbeat song, I am reminded that being lost in one’s own mind is only good for so long.

We need to balance our own thoughts with Truth so that we do not make poor decisions from the bottom of some lost pit or path that we have taken into our own minds.  We were never meant to rely on our own understanding of ourselves but rather to look to our Creator and Savior for our worth through Him.  When we have tendencies to look inward, we need to fight those and look outward – around us and to the One who provides Truth about who we are, why we are here, and how we will move beyond today’s struggles.

Happy May 1!

Celebrate this day with a sense of renewal; breathe deeply and know that there is a God who loves you deeply and wants you to see yourself as He sees you – cherished.