Changing Boiphrens

A year ago, my favorite ever LG Lotus flip fone from Sprint died a horrible death.  It was literally ripped apart.

The demise of the purple Lotus (yes – think about the Greek imagery) had started earlier in the summer while Kerry was on sabbatical.  I had dropped my favorite phone over and over and over again.  About mid-July, the phone’s screen had gone all “retro” on me.  The picture that was my screen seriously had issues.  I guess when we drop our phones, their brain cells start to go all nutty and have issues relating what color they are supposed to share with us.

In September, the phone started having additional issues.  Flip phones are rather rugged phones; I think I need a rugged phone after what I put this phone through!  However, even the toughest phone can only be dropped so many times before its guts start to spill out.  I had never seen the insides of a cell phone before this.  It was a fascinating experience for me.  I wish that I had a picture of my phone because describing it is really hard.  Imagine a flip phone in two pieces with the filament film or whatever that connects the bottom (keyboard) to the top (screen).  I just went looking for the phone in two pieces so that I could take a picture of it, but I must have finally given up on the nostalgia the last time that I cleaned my closet (6 months ago??) and have thrown it “in the bin,” as my Scottish friends would say.

Once the phone was broken into two parts, it was useless.  I realize that this seems obvious to everyone, but I actually tried to make it work again!  Alas, I lack all ability to fix anything electronic…let alone something that is pretty much impossible…and my phone had met its end.  That very evening, Kerry and I went shopping for a new phone, found a temporary replacement, and then the wait for the new Blackberry flip phone began.

Exactly 30 days later, I swapped my replacement phone for the sleek Blackberry flip phone which was hailed by most as a dinosaur for grandmas who worried more about not butt-dialing than phone greatness.  I loved the phone, though!  And everything that we love must have a name.  Think about it…I love my kids; we gave them a name.  I love my dog; he has a name.  Some people love their cars enough to give them names.  Certainly the phone needed a name.

I put out a call on Facebook for help with naming my phone.  I just spent the last few minutes scrolling down on my wall to get to the posts about naming my phone, but I spend so much time on there that I only got back to about a month ago before I gave up and returned to blogging.  Anywho – I had lots of great suggestions from the Facebook Nation (at least the little county that I call my friend list), and it sparked some wonderful banter.

I settled on the name “boiphren” because of a convincing post by my husband.  I think he initially suggested “boyfriend” and shared some great thoughts about how much fun it would be to use this in conversation.  I can’t remember the exact wording of his great stuff (again…too annoyed with scrolling in Facebook – why is there not a search function?!?!?!!?!  Sure, Mark, you made it “better,” but not better in ANY way that was good for me.  Whatever, you abusive relationship pusher, you.)….oops…sorry – interrupted my own sentence with a tangent. Yikes, so Italian of me.  Did I mention that I’m Italian (insert hand gestures and loud facial expressions here)?

What was I saying?

Oh yes – Kerry had some great wording about using “boyfriend.”  For example: I had to replace my original boyfriend with a new boyfriend.  Or – I am so upset that my boyfriend is not working; I took him to the Sprint store, but they could not figure out how to get my boyfriend to work.  You get the idea…

Yesterday, my boiphren died.  He won’t charge.  He won’t work.  He has pictures and contacts that I want to get from him, but he won’t give them to me.  I thought he was working out just fine, but he coincidentally stopped working at the same time as some Blackberry outage.  It sounds like something different is happening with him than with anyone else’s Blackberry. Nonetheless, it was disappointing.

Oddly enough, I had been sort of annoyed with the boiphren anyway.  All summer long, he was getting dumb texts from some weird number…it would happen all night.  He was keeping me up at night waking me up when he would get a text from this dumb number.  Sprint and I had talked about how to fix him, but nothing worked.  I finally talked them into sending me a new phone (not a boiphren; I was not ready for a new relationship, so I put off naming the new phone).

The new phone was a refurbished purple Lotus (see top of post and get the irony).  Yesterday, when my boiphren broke up with me, I went to my room and pulled out the purple Lotus that I had kept in case this ever happened.  It’s always good to have a spare cell phone around.  We never know when our boiphren is going to leave us unexpectedly.

I think I’ll forego the naming of the purple Lotus.  It just seems wrong to let him get too close too soon.  And maybe if I never love the phone, it will never hurt me like my boiphren did.

Note: I will likely visit Sprint at some point in the near future and see if they can fix the boiphren…I do love him more than the purple Lotus.  For now, though, I can accomplish the necessary with this phone – making and receiving phone calls (with a few texts and emails thrown in).

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