Most people think that divorce is a tragedy. And I agree. It rips families apart. It creates havoc in the minds and hearts of children who then grow up to be adults who have to come to grips with the havoc created. It is horrible. God despises it. Somehow, though, it happens. Selfishness, on whatever level, creeps into a marriage. One or both parties decide to give in to the selfishness. The matter is not resolved. Covenant is torn apart. Lives are forever changed.
But God’s redeeming power in our lives is bigger than the havoc. Take my life, for an example of this. Yes, it has taken nearly 30 years for God to take me apart and put me back together again, but I can say that I feel put together – safely in His hands…as He continues to create through His perfect craftsmanship the woman that He desires me to be. There is so much to who I am today…how God has brought me here…and how He will take me beyond even this.
The story (in brief): Paul (bio-dad) met Von (bio-mom) in 1968 or so. Von was supposed to go off to college in the fall, and Paul was stationed at an Air Force base nearby. Boy meets girl; they fall in love, get married, and start a life together. Through a series of whatever – things happened (that I will not mention to keep those alive still happy)…and they divorced. They divorced..after 2 children were born – myself and my younger brother. They divorced. They divorced. They divorced. In 1976 or 1977, I became one of the few, at the time, to live with a single mother. They divorced. Growing up in North Dakota…this was not the easiest thing.
Von later married Rick; Rick adopted my brother and me. Paul later married Maggie; they had my sister Meg. And the divorce rate increased so that, by the time I graduated from high school, I was not the only one in my class to have this blended family experience…one that meant summers in Rhode Island (for me anyway) visiting the extended parts of a mixed family.
There is so much more to this story…. but the reason for this post is to say that God is bigger than this. While He does not ordain divorce or desire for it to occur, He is there in the midst of it when it does. More than that, He can redeem the broken parts of our lives and not fix them in the human sense – but make more of them than we could have ever dreamed.
Bitterness is an option. But bitterness does nothing to our soul but destroy it. It does nothing to our soul but break it down and create even more havoc within us. Bitterness, while an obvious choice for many, should be the feeling from which we flee.